Intermission
a creative coffee break from writing the play

In my post-move zeal to establish some normalcy in my life, I pushed myself too hard.

I lost my joy in writing.

A break was oh-so necessary.

I am extremely sensitive to change. I require a lot of spiritual bolstering to mitigate through it. The recovering alcoholics among you will understand what I’ve just written.**

While I believed I was bolstering myself, on reflection I discovered several negative, unbalancing distractions I allowed into my days. Like, uh…I was watching morning television news, something I have not been in the habit of doing for over five years. I find television news very grating, despairing, and stupefying, and yet I was giving precious waking attention to watching it. The Beloved, who never was home mornings pre-move, has been drinking coffee over the morning news, and I’ve been joining in.

I’m an avid news junkie who prefers to read the newspaper.
Reading the news is more informative, detailed, and doesn’t raise my blood pressure in the same health-reducting way as editorializing, trivializing, ratings-grabbing newscasters do. *whew* I regularly read the NY Times, Courier-Journal, SF Chronicle, the Guardian (UK), and the Christian Science Monitor. Uh huh. My reading occasionally expands to the Chicago Times, LA Times, and any number of other regional papers, depending on what is on my mind. Of course, I’m detailing a bit of my news reading because I’m trying to justify to you that I’m an informed, involved human being.

Oh yeah, that was another negative: worrying about what you might think of me and what you read here. My original intention in keeping this blog/journal/whatnot was to explore my writing process in a way that was honest to me, and that did not denigrate the spirit of others. Uh, and to see if I could not use the word “but” In general, I have kept to my original intention. Yet, I know if I’m worrying about you, I’m not being nearly honest enough.

Another distraction has been reading blogs of other playwrights’ very real despair, whether that despair concerns their careers or lack thereof, the state of theatre, New York versus Regional theatre, the lack of new plays being produced, the quality of what’s put on stage, the politics of theatre administration, the [name your violin here]. I do not wish to belittle or even deny anyone’s despair or concerns. I just can no longer read it, because those blogs keep the flame of my own despair burning too bright.

It’s my personal belief that what I focus on grows in my attention, and manifests around me. And so I will focus on writing plays, building, creating, and bolstering theatre in what ways I can.

In returning the joy to my writing, I have reclaimed my morning meditation time. Followed by coffee and show tunes.

I fear I must pledge to myself to stop using the word “yet.”

1Paraphrasing Wendy Wasserstein who wrote,

You hope what you understand and know is not just of value to you alone.

Playwrights on Diversity,” 1992-1996, newsletter  published by the Non-Traditional Casting Project

2ODAT since 1/17/1985